One of the moments that sticks with me today is when my first grade teacher asked everyone in my class to individually recite the days of the week. At this time, I didn’t know the days of the week, and yes, I know it seems odd for me not to know the days of the week in first grade, but I had genuinely never learned them. So while every other student in my class followed our teacher’s instructions by reciting them, I started to panic and stress over how I was going to confess my lack of basic knowledge. The moment it was my turn, I awkwardly looked around and could feel the judgmental glares from the other students. I looked into my teacher’s eyes to see if she would help me out, but not even she could imagine a first grader not knowing this. I then said, “I forgot…” hoping everyone would buy the excuse; however, instead, everyone in my class started laughing at me. After this day, my first-grade teacher started to treat me differently. She began constantly hovering over me as I would do the class activities, and she would not call on me during class at all. The next week, she prompted us to again recite the days of the week, but this time in front of the entire class, she said, “Aanya, don’t worry, you don’t have to.” As soon as she said that, I wanted to go home. I was embarrassed and was once again being stared at by my whole class, and the worst part was that this time I actually memorized the days of the week. In this situation, I was treated as if I was not as smart as every other person in the room. Despite my teacher not having the intention to single me out because she thought I would have still not learned the days of the week by then, I was hurt and felt that I wasn’t good enough to be in the class.
Being underestimated is something I have reconciled myself with and, for the most part, have come to expect. The number of times people have told me, “I never realized school meant so much to you,” “I bet you just want to major in fashion,” “Before I met you, I assumed you were kind of stupid…” These quotes have been repeatedly said to me several times, and it infuriates me that I have to constantly be viewed as ditsy. Oftentimes, when I try to express my opinions on things, I am ignored, but when someone who is viewed as more knowledgeable expresses their opinions, they are praised for “speaking up.” Anyone who has ever gone through similar experiences will know it is hard to feel good about yourself when others underestimate you. That being said, I recently discovered how to empower it.
When people underestimate you, they don’t believe in what you are capable of and, ideally, don’t believe in you as a person. Instead of taking this to heart, I have learned that there is a much better solution: proving them wrong. When people treat me like I lack intelligence and am less than them, I now feel motivated to show them that I am not the person they are assuming I am. I know my own worth and am confident enough to acknowledge that I am a hardworking and diligent individual who will not let anyone determine my capabilities. But of course, it is never good to be overconfident in yourself, and you can’t prove others’ false assumptions wrong if they are right. Which is why I put working hard for myself over receiving validation from anyone else. There is nothing that surprises those who underestimated me more than when they see that I do, in fact, work hard.
Realistically, I know that in the future I will find myself in situations where I am underestimated by others. Nevertheless, instead of letting people’s negative assumptions affect me, I will use their judgments as a way to surprise them.
matcha for the mind 